It’s interesting how easy it is for us to put blinders on; like the ones on horses, where you can’t see to the right or to the left. We can only see right in front of us, and often times not that far ahead either. We can only concentrate on that one thing within our lives and totally miss everything else.
My eyes have been opened recently, to what I was missing. I was so focused on not wanting to be pregnant any more and how miserable (I thought) I was, I was missing the little joys around me. I was essentially ignoring the 5 gifts I have already received, while impatiently waiting for the 6th one to arrive.
I was missing the complete and satisfying way that my husband loves me and takes care of me. The strength that he shows and passes to me is unmeasurable. The example of a Godly life that he strives to live and model for our children is a rarity in our society.
I was missing the joy on Maacah’s face as she learns new words and continues to love reading. The attempts she’s making to be more of a helper to me around the house; her willingness and understanding to pray to God at any time about anything.
I was missing the little things that Grace does for her siblings, often times without being asked or saying a word about it. The servants heart that I am beginning to see in her and a smile that lights up her whole face.
I was missing Isaac’s need for confirmation about where he fits in the family dynamics. His increasing independence and desire to be more of a help to everyone ~ “what I do, Mama?” he often asks me. The beautiful budding relationship that is growing between him and his brother already.
I was missing how much Malachi is growing. Not in height or weight, but in awareness and in ability. The way that his whole being lights up and giggles if you just smile at him. The amazing difference of his personality from his siblings is beginning to show through and the reminder of how unique and special we all are!
Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes before it was too late. Thank you for giving me the peace and calm that I desperately needed within my soul. I am able to truly enjoy the gifts that you have given to me. Gifts that I do not deserve, and yet you have deemed me worthy to have and to hold. “Thank you” is such a pitiful word to describe what I feel. But it is all I have. Thank you Lord.