What is it about personal struggles that make things a bit more clearer? Perhaps you’re finally in the right mind set or maybe it’s your spirit that is. Either way, there is just a hint of the broader picture that you get a glimpse of, that otherwise you would have been too busy to see. As Christians, when we are struggling with something, what do (or should) we do? We seek God. Faithfully, continually and honestly. Why now and not at other times? Because we are seeking answers, relief, direction. It is when we are in that mind set that God gives us a glimpse of what He is about. Of what we are about. and our lives and the dealings
-++ within our lives are put in prospective.
I’ve been crying out to God in the past recently more then I have for awhile. And I’m finding a peace and a patient spirit within me that I never knew was there. That’s not to say that I’m what I should be 100% of the time, because I’m not. Yesterday was a bad day. I was struggling very greatly with my attitude and negative feelings. I’m not sure why, for up until that point, the whole week went really well. But I refused to give into those feelings. I still refused to plead that I give birth now (for that really is what my struggle is about) and I pleaded, instead, for Him to give me the ability to resist these damaging attitudes, to not give into the emotions that my flesh wanted to possess me with. It wasn’t easy. With my whole being, I wanted to weep and plead and beg for the time to be now for the baby to be born and not to have to wait any longer. I wanted to complain and mope around in the worst way. In short, I wanted sympathy.
But I chose instead to listen to that quite voice within me. To resist the desire to have the spot light on myself and to keep it where it belongs. I am not mistaken. I am not fooled. I know where this strength and endurance is coming from. It is coming from Above, and not from within. I can’t say that I am completely content to wait for His perfect timing, because that would be a lie. I still have days like yesterday. But I can say that that is my goal and I am doing better then I have before with my other pregnancies (for this is not a new struggle for me).
Please don’t think for one minute that I am posting myself as an example of what to do. More like an example of what not to do. I am not like Paul; Don’t follow me! But do learn from my mistakes. And learn from the things I have learned. That is part of what fellowship with other believers is about. To learn from one another.
And what have I learned? To not wait until I’m in a struggle to be in a state of continual “crying out” to God. But to do that always and to urn for His continual presence in my life. His presence does not mean we are aware He exists and that is it. But that we seek Him out, we talk to Him, we make Him a part our everyday life. Especially when we don’t think we “need” Him.
For in truth, those are the times that we truly need Him the most.