It’s a wonder to me, and always has been, why more mothers don’t consider staying home a viable option. Esp. when they are Christian women. I know, I know. The idea and the living out of those ideas come from feminism. Just the word itself leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’m not a scholar, so I don’t pretend to know the reasons for the begining of the “sufferage” movement (I know enough, but not all the details). And I have not been immune to the affects of this movement. I’m still weeding things out.
But I think it’s more then just a femenistic view on things. There’s a whole gamet of reasons: money, a name for yourself, selfishness, the belief (and lie) that this is the “real world” and no one can live on one income these days, yadda yadda yadda. One of my sister-in-laws was talking with me a few Sundays ago and she mentioned that she is needing to get a job because they just can’t make it on one income. I reminded her that we live on one income with 6 people, as opposed to their 3 people. Her response? “We don’t live the same lifestyle that you guys live.” We’ll, you could if you really wanted to.
Do I stay home because I love to live within a budget? Do I “not work” (Yeah right!) because I enjoy not going out to eat often? Do I not contibute to the income of our house because I enjoy living in obscurity? * Note: I wear a headcovering, wear only dresses and don’t go anywhere without my children. So I’m not sure that counts as “obscurity”. Everybody notices us. But you know what I mean. * Do I go against the grain because I’m a rebel? The answer to all the questions is a proverbial “no”.
So why do I stay home? Because of my children. I believe the Bible when it says it is best for them to be home with me. I know my children. I know when they are sick. I know when they are being sneaky. I know what they need and what they don’t. I am their mother. As soon as they were concieved, mother-hood became more important then my previous self-hood. I put them before myself.
Would it be nice to have more adult conversations? Yes, it would be. Would it be nice to get a day off or paid vacation or sick leave? Of course. Would things be more financially better for us if I brought a pay check home? Yes. But at what cost? What things would I be losing to gain such things? Why is it such a mystery that I choose my children? Why is it such a big social “no no” to stay home and actually raise my children?
Modern women are killing themselves. I was over at the other sister-in-laws house the other day and she had baskets and tubs full of laundry to do. She has only 4 people in her house, yet she can’t keep up with the laundry or anything else for that matter. It’s not because she is lazy and doesn’t care. The truth is far from it. It’s because she works full time and then comes home with nothing left to give. She does a good job at work, but is behind at home. And which do you think is more troubling to her? She says her home is a mess and it bugs her to no end (I personally don’t think it’s all that bad. But we all have our own comfort zones). Latly she has said that her new goal is to work until the bills (debt) is paid off, quite her job and be a stay-at-home mother. She said she feels that she has missed and is missing out on so much. And she’s right; she has. I’m very proud of her for realizing this before it’s too late for her boys to benifit from this change. It saddens me that not all mothers come to this conclusion (or perhaps allow themsleves to?) or are even willing to make the change. She is embracing the difficult. She is one more daughter of God who is following His calling and coming home.
Malachi had quite the explosion today. I’ll spare you the details of how it came all the way up to his neck. :0) After his quick bath, I wrapped him up in a towel and snuggled him on my chest. As I held him, all curled up against me, his big blue eyes beheld me and I saw such love and trust in those eyes. He knows it’s my face he’ll see each time he gets up out of his crib. He’s learned that when he cries, I’m there to comfort him, not someone else. As I took my chances at rocking him in a towel with no diaper on, I felt such a peace and contentment come over me.
Life is full of “give and takes”. I’ll take my moments rocking a snuggly baby, with such adoration in his eyes, and give someone else my job in the “real” world.
| “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young | |
| women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, | |
| keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5 |