Okay, here’s the deal. I’m fat. Not the “how is she ever going to fit through that door!?” kind of fat. More like “yes, I can tell that she has had 5 children.” Never mind that I looked like I have had 5 children the day of my wedding, 8 1/2 years ago (and for the record, my oldest will be 8 in February. So I’m clear of that one). I’ve always been “large”. My family are all large people, except my brother who has taken Ridlin since he was 4 and he will be 16 come March. But that’s a different story…. My older sister used to be thin, but then she had 4 children …. and I must admit that that makes me feel a little better. Okay, a lot better.
But either way, I’m just not comfortable with myself. Now I’m waaaaaay beyond all that “I need to lose to fit back into my clothes” stuff. Because I’ve always been this size, so I have no smaller clothes in my closet. Besides, I’m a mother of 5 children, remember? I’ve never been a “teeny bopper”, nor will I ever be. So I’m not uncomfortable with myself because I’m not a size 4. Or even a size 14. It’s not about my size in clothing. And you know what, it’s not really about the numbers on the scale either. It’s about how I feel. It’s about me being winded just going up the stairs, let alone when I carry a child. It’s about me not playing with my children at the park because it’s too much of an effort to do so. It’s about me setting a good example for them. And they’re going to need it. They need it right now. It’s about me wanting more children and being concerned what the added weight is going to do to my body and health.
We don’t eat very bad around here. We eat our fruits and veggies daily. I try to get them fresh, at least the fruits, but the veggies are usually frozen. We don’t eat tons of bread (I don’t like sandwiches), but grains are a part of our diet in other ways. We like rice, past and potatoes. We do have meat at least once a day, but that is not the majority of the meal. And we don’t have an abundant amount of sweets, either. And even though I love to bake, I try and not have too much of that around. My hardest problem (aside from getting in the necessary exercise and that my metabolism is near non-existent)? Portion control. I eat way too much at one sitting.
So, here’s the deal. Over at Amy‘s, she’s having an impromptu “weight loss accountability…thing”. She also is having a “diet diary”. While I’m not intending on dieting because I want to make this a way of life for me, I am going to join all the ladies (and one man, I think) in this trial. She is doing this for 12 weeks and is encouraging all that those measly 12 weeks can really do something for you. I agree. I can do 12 weeks worth of consistent exercise and scaling down my portions. I know many people have said that cutting out the white flour and sugar really helps. And it probably does. We haven’t had white flour in this house for a long time (we bought a grain mill a few years ago and we mill our own wheat berries when we want some flour) and while I do use white sugar, I don’t think the amount the we eat is harmful (going on what I said previous that we don’t eat alot of sweets).
Here is what I’m going to do: I have “walk away the pounds” in DVD and I will do that while it is still not-nice to go outside. I will strive to eat at the same time each day. I will eat less than I have been eating (at each meal). I will have only 2 sweets a week (from one cookie to one piece of cake to one bowl of ice cream. They will all count the same.). I will drink at least 20 oz of water a day. I will measure and weight my self every other week (the measuring is very important, for you can lose far more inches than pounds). And I will write here about how I am doing and I will be honest; from if I slipped up and ate something I shouldn’t have to how much I weight/measure. It may not be every day. But I will update on how I am doing, in the hopes that it will keep my accountable. And perhaps some of you might join me. I’m going to be very real and transparent. I’m even going to take a before picture and post it. (How’s that for daring?) And let me assure of one thing: if I can do this, anyone can. I know that’s become a cliche these days, but it’s true.
I’m desiring to be more healthy, not skinnier. I’m desiring energetic with my children, not more attractive (for I am already attractive for my husband. That’s all I need). I’m desiring to be a good example for my children in all that I do, not just in word only. And I’m ready to make this commitment for the right reasons, with the right perspective, and with the correct help, for I can do nothing without God!
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philipians 4:13