Being a mother is hard work. Harder work I have yet to know ~ and if you’re out there, STAY AWAY!
I have 4 children; ages 5 1/2, 3 1/2, 23 mths and 3 mths. Reading that sentence, it sounds really scary. But you know what, it’s not. Its hard, yes. But not scary. That’s not to say I have been without my scary moments. Like when Maacah fell backwards 5′ down onto the cement floor, on her head. When I heard the scream, I didn’t have to ask “who screamed?”. Or when Isaac ate something mysterious from our yard and got hudge hives all over his body (I’m talking like 2″-3″ in diameter hudge). Or when I ran into Walmart to get pictures. Not wanting to wake Isaac up and bundle them up again (this was in the dead of winter), I left them in the car. I was gone not more then 5 minutes and when I came back, Maacah was not there! Talked about scared! (I have since learned my lesson and the kiddos go with me)
Anyway, being a mother is hard work. I can’t even imagine how other women do it, working a full time job outside the home and then coming home to another full time job. At times, I feel quite overwhelmed and ignorant in the job that God has given me. The other night, as I was thinking back on the day, I remembered Maacah yelling and not talking nicely to her siblings when she was frustrated. I told her that that is not an appropriate way to talk to people. And then I realized something: she sounds like me. It’s easy to forget that through our day, our children are looking and listening to us. They are learning from us how to act toward others and how to deal with their emotions. If I choose to yell when I get frustrated, should it be a surprise when I hear my children doing the same? Or if I choose to say unkind words about someone I don’t like, can I really be angry with my child if they are acting like me?
That night, I cried out to God to change my ways. I not only cried out, I cried tears. I was convicted like I’ve never been before. I unburdened my heart in the way that is so freeing; in the way that only God can lift the heavy-ness (and the guilt). This was Tuesday night. Yesterday was a good day. I didn’t yell and I discipled in the manner that is right and not in anger. And today is good so far (I still have about 7 hours to go until bedtime). I feel like I’m more in control of myself and my reactions then I ever have been before. Instead of just talking, I’m more aware of what I’m saying and how I’m saying it. `.I suppose two days isn’t that much of a big deal. But you know what? When you are striving to replace the bad with the good, an hour is a big deal.
And last night, I got the best gift of all ~ and the best confirmation that what I’m doing is right. Adam rolled over, held me tight and said, “I know you do alot around here and I want to say thank you for it all. I love you”. Aww!
Yeah being a mother is hard. Being a mother, trying to live out your life like Christ for your children, is hard. But it’s worth it. Is it ever worth it!
