Malachi has had a fever since Wednesday. I’ve been praying so hard for him. I’m on new territory here. Not the praying part, but the waiting part. I’ve prayed for my children’s health many, many times. But I’d never wait long enough to see anything happen because of it. It’s almost like I’d say to God, “Okay, you had your chance. You didn’t heal them so now I will take them to someone who will.”. It’s not like I actually thought those words, but my actions sure did. This time, however, I felt so strongly not to give in and wait on Him. And it was hard for me to do this. I don’t shy away from doctors, for I know they are necessary at times. But I don’t run to them for every little cough and fever. However, knowing Malachi had a high (over 103) fever for several days was very difficult for me not to be pro-active. I understand some people would scold me for being so careless. Well, believe me, I was anything but careless! I watched him like a hawk, constantly taking his temperature, and trying to make him as comfortable as possible. And the struggle was there for me to give in and take him to the doctors. It would have been an easy thing to do. And no one would have thought I was wrong to do so. For it’s not wrong to “go to the doctor”. You’ll know from this post, that we do seek doctor’s care when needed.
The whole time, I had the strong feeling that this was a “test” from God and I needed to pass or fail it. I certainly didn’t want to fail, knowing that the next test could be a bit harder. So I called out for strength to continue to wait and begged Him to “let me know” if the time ever came where He wanted me to take him in.
I woke up this morning to a 1 year olds’ smile and broken fever. Yeah! And he actually ate today. That feels good to see. You know what feels so much better? Knowing that I waited and that God is ever faithful. Yesterday, during the sermon, one thing that was said stands out in my mind so clearly, “If God did it before, He can do it again.” Anyone who know their Bible stories know that God has healed before. And He most certainly can (did!) do it again.
So, I think I pasted this test. This was quite small in comparison to other’s tests of faith, but I now have a new perspective of what it means to “live by faith”. To put our lives, the lives of our children, into hands we can’t see. Into hands we can’t touch. I have a small taste of what it is like to say, “Whatever the cost Lord. I will trust You”.
Isaac has a fever now, but my God is faithful. And I continually, daily, moment~by~moment, strive to be faithful to Him.