How in the world do they do it?!
What am I talking about? I’m talking about being a single mother. Technically, I’m not one. But this week I’ve seen my husband a total of 12 hours (and this doesn’t count me seeing him sprawled out on our bed asleep). Both my sister’s-in-law have husband who work longs hours. One of the husbands is a trucker. He leaves home around 9 pm on Sundays and doesn’t get home again until Tuesday morning. He does this again on Wednesday night. My other brother-in-law works at a cranberry marsh. Late Spring through October is heavy work time for him. During this time, he normally pulls a 60-75 hour week.
I don’t have this anymore. I used to, when Adam worked in the restaurant business. But he has been out of that circle for almost 4 years now. And I’ve gotten spoiled. This week has been a long and hard one. I am drained in every way imaginable! And I have failed miserably in every aspect of motherhood. I’m not talking about the basics, so don’t get worried about their care. I’m talking about how I react to them, talk to them. How my attitude has been toward them and what kind-of example I have been for them. It saddens my greatly to admit that I haven’t modeled Christ well for them this week at all. I take seriously the fact that I am the first and foremost person who they get their beginning ideas and beliefs about God from (yes, my husband is too. But it is more me, the mother, who is the influence because I am the one who is with them 24/7).
We have all been sick with horrible colds. Malachi (1) has had a high fever most of the week (so you can imagine, if you haven’t experienced it yourself, how incredibly clingy he has been!). Isaac (2.5) is in the “run around and see how much I can desteroy in as little time as possible” stage of boyhood ( And his energy never goes away! Even with a bad cold! Not fair!). Grace (4.5), who is usually my sweet, good natured, “sure I’ll help you, Mama” kind-of girl, has been turned upside down and all her rebellion, stubbornness, willfulness, sinful nature is running out of her with no end in sight. And Maacah (6.5) has been, *sigh*, typical Maacah. She is head strong, want to do things her way, stubborn (side note*: there is not a born Dewing on this planet who is not stubborn! Those of us who assume the name post birth, have to become stubborn just to survive.), willingly forgets the “rules”, so on and so forth. And I’m 5 months along with #5, trying to get over this cold myself, I’m hot and really feeling pregnant. I need my husband!!!! And I need prayer.
* Please understand that all this is not to get sympathy and to “boo-hoo” about my life. I am a real person, with real feelings and real failures. This is just a peek at one of my awful, failing weeks. I do have good weeks and I have posted about them before. I am a work in progress and always will be. This week has been a test for me. I’m not sure what my grade has been, but I’m sure I didn’t get a “passing” one.
And, for the record, I never complain about my children to other people in front of them or where they can hear me. There is no fear that any of them will ever read this, which is why I’m talking about it. I do mention, however, their wrong behavior to them when things happen and we talk about it. But it pains me when parents complain about how “bad” their children have been to others and the children are right there listening. As people, we need to vent and venting isn’t bad. Just don’t do it in front of your children. It’s not right. *