Trusted

My husband came home last night and recited a funny story to me. Well, funny for me anyway.
There is a lady and her daughter at his work who asked him to make a banana cream pie (he is a chef by trade). And they paid him for it. But they also bought him some homemade chocolate turtles. Here is where it gets funny to me. The daughter (who is 17 or 18) of his co-worker “thinks he’s cute” (says the mother). So he’s given these chocolates and he’s thinking “who exactly are these from?” He reluctantly takes them after being assured that they are from both of them, and not just the daughter. Taking a gift from an admirer is not something my husband is keen on doing. When he told me this, I started giggling. He didn’t think it was so funny.

The very fact that I’m able to laugh about this is amazing to me. You see, I come from a broken home where my father had at least two girlfriends while being married to my mother (the 2nd one being his wife now). Shortly after we got married, my sister’s husband cheated on her. My sister then proceeded to cheat on him in retribution. I saw all the hurt that is caused by infidelity and I was terrified that it would be done to me. This fear also came from my severely skewed ideas of how love “feels” (I’ll explain this in another post).

Anyway, it wasn’t until I was talking with a friend that things started to come into focus. Maacah was about 8 months old or so and I was traveling home from somewhere with them (the friend and his family). Adam was working that night, so that is why I was with them and not him. We were talking about fears and I admitted to having a fear of Adam being unfaithful to me. And he asked me if I had given my fears to God. I said, “Yes, I had.” He then asked,”If you have given your fears to God, then why are you still fearful?” That gave me pause. He was right. If we have truly given our fears over to God, then we shouldn’t be fearful. Right?