Our society today does not value children. Yes, everyone knows that if there are no children, our society will fail. Just look at Europe. The “progressive” countries are learning the hard way of what the lack of children will do to any given society. We are not facing that in this country. We are facing a tragedy of a different sort.
Children do not have the place of value in our lives that they once did. If you have more than your alloted 2.1 kids, you might as well join the “strange and unusual ” part of a circus. In fact, sometimes I wonder if the bearded lady receives kinder comments and looks then we do with more children. The Bible is clear on how God looks at children. They are blessings, not burdens. They are joy, not sorrow. They are worth time and effort, not troublesome and worthless.
I have always know it was my “calling” to be a wife and mother. And I have always desired to have a house full of children, even when I didn’t know anyone who did. It was never said, but certainly implied that it’s not “normal” to want many children. I remember having many strange looks from anyone who asked “what to you want to be when you grow up?”. “A wife and mother” is not a common response and certainly not a popular one either.
When we got married, I wanted children right away. But Adam said he wanted to wait a few years. I wasn’t happy about it, but I took my birth control as any responsible adult would do. Little did we know that God had other plans for us. 3 months after we married, I became pregnant. I was taking that little pill very”religiously”, yet I still became pregnant. As soon as I realized this, I stopped taking it, not wanting to harm the baby. But it was too late. I was about a month along when I miscarried. I was crushed! I had waited my whole life to become a mother and now I lost the baby. I was always told that the pill is 99.5% effective. Who would have guessed that I’m in that .5% range?
It took me about a month to stop crying about it. By that time, surprise! Here comes Maacah! I was so excited! I was finally going to be a mother! And yet, after she was born, I still didn’t realize what God wanted for us. At 6 weeks post-pardom, I went back onto that little pill. I took the progesterone one that has a 2% chance of drying up breast milk. Well, I happen to be in that 2% range as well. With in a week, my apple supply of milk was gone. I remember that very last time Maacah nursed. She barely got anything out and I cried and cried. I kick myself now because it never occurred to me to stop taking the stupid thing!
When she was about 4 months old, we were introduced to some people who live a way we had never come in contact with before. They wear only dresses, the women cover their head, and they give God the control over their family size (to name a few). That meeting changed our lives forever. God finally got to us. When Maacah was about 6 months old, I went and got a shot of depot-prevea. It’s medication that you get every 3 months to prevent any cycle at all. 2 weeks later, while we were sitting at home one night, Adam turns to me and said, “What do you think about letting God plan our family?”. I didn’t really hesitate and said okay. I was upset that I had just gotten a shot of the depot and I knew how long that stuff stayed in my body because I had used it before when I was younger (for hormonal reason). I only had one shot in June and didn’t have anything happen until the next February.
Now we have 4 children, ages 6, 4, 2, and 8 months. And I am ready for #5 (please, can I have a girl again?)! But in God’s good timing… I wasn’t prepared for all of the negative comments I’d hear about letting God plan our family, though. My father went on and on about us being irresponsible. I think the irresponsibility comes with trying to take control of our own lives, instead of keeping God in the drivers seat. Think about it: who would be better at making decisions, the One who knows what’s going to happen or the one who has no clue about what the next hour will bring? It’s a no brainier for me. I don’t know what’s ultimately best for me, I can only guess. I trust the One who has no beginning and no end. Just like all people, I had a beginning and I will defiantly have an end. I trust the One who knows how many hairs are on my head. Do you know how many hairs are on your head?……I didn’t think so.
My mother was not a supporter of our lack of birth control and she didn’t really beat around the bush about her opinions, either. In April of 2005, we traveled to her house for a visit (she lives in Idaho, which was a 32 hour trip, non stop, one way). Isaac was 6 months old then and as we were sitting at her dining room table one morning, she turned to me and aksed, “So when are you having another one?” Excuse me? What did you just say? Once I had gotten over my shock, she explained that she can see now why we have made these decisions and she could see that we are not neglecting our children. God is in control of our lives and she could see that. That ‘s not to say I don’t have my moments at 2 am wondering if I’m crazy or wondering if everyone else is right and we are being irresponsible. But then the Lord comforts me and reassures me that we are following Him and He is in control.
So I’ll take the stares. I’ll take the rude comments. I’ll take the assumption that we’re irresponsible. And I’ll take my children right along with me and tell anyone who asks, or listen, how precious each one of them are.
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3