o·be·di·ence (ō-bē‘dē-əns)
a. the quality or condition of being obedient
b. the act of obeying
As parents, we deal with obedience, or the lack of it, on a daily basis. We understand the importance of teaching our children not only how, but why we obey our athorities. I find it interesting to see just how early a childs’ will shows itself. As early as 10 mths, or whenever you can see they are starting to understand the language, they begin to do things in spite of the word “no”. They begin to test you, to see what will happen if I do this “no, no” thing. It is not above the norm for a little hand to get slapped in our house. Not hard, of course. But enough to get their attention and to teach them that there are consequences for disobedience.
The word “obey” appears 66 times in the Bible. ” If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures. But if they obey not, they shall perish by the sword and they shall die without knoweledge.” Job 36:11-12 As believers, we understand (or at least we should) that, ultimatley, we are teaching our children to obey us so that they can (will?) turn and obey God. I’ve heard many experts say that the best time for learning any language is when when a child is young. I think the same is true for the things we need to know in life. You know the saying “all I need to know about life, I learned in kindergarden” or something like that. If a child doesn’t learn the importance of obedience at a young age, it will be very difficult for that child, and the authority in his/her life, to “learn” it later.
That’s not to say that the act of obedience gets easier as we age. Our human nature is still present and still wars within us. It is not “natural” for us to obey anything (except for our human nature). But we (hopfully!) learn that the act of disobedience brings consequences and those consequences are not worth the act. This life is full on consequences. Some are good, some are bad. There are “laws” in our universe that we don’t have to option not to obey. If you jump from a tree, you will land on the ground. You don’t get the option to fly off like a bird. We can’t travel at the speed of light. Our bodies are not designed to go that fast. In the same sense, if we disobey Gods laws, there are consuquences. Perhaps not now or next year or for the next 50 years. But it will come. He promises that.
I find, as a parent, it is very easy for me to say “don’t do this”. But it is very difficult for me to follow through with the “or this will happen”. The various acts of disobedience is real and alive in our lives. As a parent, I stuggle with being consistent with the consequences for disobedience. And yet, as a child of God, I stuggle with being obedient to God and to those whose authority I’m under (namely my husband). Yes, my spirit tells me that I need to obey and I’ll say “okay”, “sure”, “fine”. But all through gritted teeth. I know I need to, but I don’t want to.
I’ve only been a parent for 6 years. Not a long time, I know. But I’ve come to the conclusion that for me to be effective in my parenting “role” and for me to be more faithful to my children, I need to be more faithful to God. For me to effectively teach my children the difference between needing to obey and wanting to obey, I need to live that out in my own life first. I have to obey what I’m told to do out of love for Him. My husband is an authority over me, set up by God. 1st is God, 2nd is Jesus, 3rd is my husband, 4th is me. By obeying my husband, I’m obeying God. Does that mean that my husband will always “get it right”? No. But that’s not for me to worry about. I need to obey.
I’ve told my my 6 year-old to help clean up the mess in the kitchen. But she didn’t make the mess. Is this important? Not really. I need to teach her now to obey me without question, so that when she is older and God tells her to “help clean up that mess”, she does it with a willing, loving, and greatfull attitude. That is my goal. That is my purpose. And that is where my obedience is most important.
“That thou mayest love he LORD thy God and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days:….” Deuteronomy 30:20a